A man can suffer from this as well: An Emotionally-Abusive Relationship! After a while it becomes so very toxic that you begin to entertain the possibility of ending it. But you don’t out of fear or guilt.
So, then the years go by and further they go by as your outlook in life begins to wither away. Your dreams die and all you can think about is retiring, then dying. Then, booooom! That’s it! Then, on the other side of things, your spouse or partner is the only one who shines. They grow and evolve whilst meeting other people in their evolution while you are left within their dust.
At the end of the day, you are the end result, defeated, derived from all the bullying of why you aren’t good enough, the little snark remarks of how you look (less than), the even more hurtful remarks in how other people and genders are even more attractive to her and vice-versa (her looking onto them) without taking into accountability nor consideration of how you (yourself) would feel when they do make such responses in return.
Just to know that your significant other finds it more of a thrill to shoot you down with every opportunity which gives them all the more comfort and satisfaction… is just plain debilitating, to say the least. Then, you continue to sacrifice more of yourself by making them more happy than yourself. The false pretense of making them happy with things is only merely that – just things. And you know you’ve done all your best, but when your best isn’t good enough, you are only weakened further to oblivion. Weakened. Yes, the cycle continues.
It brings back memories of defeat, indeed. It’s PTSD.
And all you desire is merely to be left alone.
Numb is the Word.
You don’t have to tell me what it means to be NUMB because you feel it everyday and it doesn’t go away.
Your candle burns out…
Then, Silence.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Aramu Muru is a Registered Nurse, specializing in Behavioral Health and Substance Abuse Recovery, and is a proud Veteran of the United States Air Force (Operation Desert Storm/Desert Shield). Aramu is also a podcaster, an author, an alternative thinker, a controversial theorist, prolific writer, blogger, an ancient archeology and cryptocurrency enthusiast, and the executive producer and founder of one of the most highly-esteemed podcast radio networks on planet earth today!

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